How I Met Your Mother: February 2013

BARNEY:
The Robin.

Step one: admit to yourself that you still have feelings for this girl

I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her.
More than she knows.

Step two:

choose the completely wrong
moment to make a drunken move
after hanging out
at a strip club
and get shot down on purpose.

Step three:

agree that you two don't work,
locking the door
on any future
you could have together.

"I'm done trying to get you, I can't do it anymore."

Which will drive Robin nuts.

Step four:

Robin goes nuts.

Step five:

find the person who annoys Robin most
in the world..

Nobody asked
for your help, Patrice!

896
00:37:39,405 --> 00:37:42,673
...and ask for her help.

897
00:37:42,675 --> 00:37:44,992
Oh, hi, Barney.

898
00:37:44,994 --> 00:37:46,127
What are you doing here?

899
00:37:46,129 --> 00:37:47,745
Actually, I'm looking for you.

900
00:37:47,747 --> 00:37:50,047
This may sound kind of weird,
but I have a proposition...

901
00:37:50,049 --> 00:37:52,216
Explain everything to Patrice

902
00:37:52,218 --> 00:37:54,085
and hope she agrees to help.

903
00:37:54,087 --> 00:37:55,869
Yay. I love Robin.

904
00:37:55,871 --> 00:37:58,005
Of course I'll help.
(giggles)

905
00:37:58,007 --> 00:37:59,557
Good, good.
(screams)

906
00:37:59,559 --> 00:38:01,759
Step six:
check with your doctor

907
00:38:01,761 --> 00:38:03,877
about possible broken ribs.

908
00:38:03,879 --> 00:38:06,680
Step seven:
pretend to be dating Patrice.

909
00:38:06,682 --> 00:38:10,017
Nobody asked you here,
Patrice!

910
00:38:11,153 --> 00:38:12,820
Actually, I did.

911
00:38:12,822 --> 00:38:14,105
Step eight:

912
00:38:14,107 --> 00:38:16,407
wait until Robin inevitably
breaks into your place

913
00:38:16,409 --> 00:38:18,409
to find the Playbook
and show it to Patrice,

914
00:38:18,411 --> 00:38:20,694
which you'll monitor
via the hidden cameras

915
00:38:20,696 --> 00:38:23,397
you have in your apartment.

916
00:38:25,233 --> 00:38:29,069
Patrice, the robin's
in the nest.

917
00:38:29,071 --> 00:38:32,673
That means Robin broke
into my apartment

918
00:38:32,675 --> 00:38:34,508
Were you even listening
when I explained the codes?

919
00:38:34,510 --> 00:38:36,460
Step nine: after Patrice
finds the Playbook,

920
00:38:36,462 --> 00:38:39,597
have your first big fight.

921
00:38:39,599 --> 00:38:41,182
This is going so well.

922
00:38:41,184 --> 00:38:42,416
Thank you so much.

923
00:38:42,418 --> 00:38:45,085
I know, but what the heck
are Lily and Ted doing here?

924
00:38:45,087 --> 00:38:47,104
I don't know.
My friends have no boundaries.

925
00:38:47,106 --> 00:38:49,056
(groans)
How can I ever thank you?

926
00:38:49,058 --> 00:38:50,941
Will you watch my
cat next weekend?

927
00:38:50,943 --> 00:38:52,476
No.

928
00:38:52,478 --> 00:38:55,112
Come on, we should probably
go back inside.

929
00:38:55,114 --> 00:38:56,781
Step ten:

930
00:38:56,783 --> 00:38:58,282
prove your loyalty to Patrice

931
00:38:58,284 --> 00:38:59,933
by burning the Playbook,

932
00:38:59,935 --> 00:39:01,819
and actually burn it.

933
00:39:03,572 --> 00:39:06,157
You don't need it anymore.

934
00:39:07,492 --> 00:39:08,775
Step 11:

935
00:39:08,777 --> 00:39:10,377
because your friends
have no boundaries,

936
00:39:10,379 --> 00:39:11,879
they'll inevitably have

937
00:39:11,881 --> 00:39:13,330
an intervention for Robin,

938
00:39:13,332 --> 00:39:15,282
which you'll monitor
via the hidden cameras

939
00:39:15,284 --> 00:39:16,884
you have in Marshall
and Lily's apartment.

940
00:39:16,886 --> 00:39:18,586
Step 12:

941
00:39:18,588 --> 00:39:19,887
tell only Ted about your plan

942
00:39:19,889 --> 00:39:21,455
to propose to Patrice.

943
00:39:21,457 --> 00:39:23,474
You can't tell anybody.

944
00:39:23,476 --> 00:39:25,226
Agreed?

945
00:39:26,978 --> 00:39:28,462
Step 13:

946
00:39:28,464 --> 00:39:30,147
wait and see
if Ted tells Robin,

947
00:39:30,149 --> 00:39:31,799
and if he does...

948
00:39:31,801 --> 00:39:33,400
Barney's getting engaged.

949
00:39:33,402 --> 00:39:35,186
...it means your best bro
in the world

950
00:39:35,188 --> 00:39:38,355
has let go of Robin
and has given you his blessing.

951
00:39:38,357 --> 00:39:41,442
Step 14:
Robin arrives

952
00:39:41,444 --> 00:39:43,244
at her favorite spot
in the city

953
00:39:43,246 --> 00:39:44,612
and finds the secret final page

954
00:39:44,614 --> 00:39:47,414
of the Playbook.

955
00:39:47,416 --> 00:39:49,033
The last play

956
00:39:49,035 --> 00:39:50,817
you'll ever run.

957
00:39:50,819 --> 00:39:53,254
Step 15: Robin realizes

958
00:39:53,256 --> 00:39:55,873
she's standing
underneath mistletoe.

Robin: “Seriously, Barney? Even you — even someone as certifiably insane as you — must realize this is to far! You lied to me, manipulated me for weeks. Do you really think I could kiss you after that? Do you really think I could trust you after that? This, this is proof of why we don’t work, why we’ll never work. So thank you. You set me free. How could I be with a man who thinks that this trick, this enormous lie could ever make me want to date him again?"

Barney: "Turn it over"

[Robin reads the back of the last page. It says, "Step 16: Hope she says yes."]

With that, Barney got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. She said yes.

We knew it was coming, and we knew that Barney and Robin would eventually make it to the altar. But that didn’t damper the moment for me at all. I cried like baby Marvin Waitforit Eriksen.

The proposal, while polarizing, I’m sure, was great because it was 100 percent from Barney’s heart. It dripped with intentions so sweet that it was almost bitter, and if Barney hadn’t walked that line, I would have thought his heart wasn’t in it.

Every bit of doubt that has plagued this pair went up in flames when Barney tore out that page and burned the rest of his playbook. He committed — and now so has she.

And that’s How He Got the Girl.

Sunday, 17 February 2013

The Robin